I have been continuing on my path and taking 5gm of glutamine daily. Aside from the initial differences I felt, I haven’t noticed any additional benefits; although I have continued to notice improvements in my cognitive empathy. I’m also significantly more in control of my emotions, and I think I’ve been having fewer “meltdowns” on a daily basis. I’m keeping track of them on a calendar, and the past week there have been surprisingly few.
What do adult aspie meltdowns/anxiety attacks look like? Everyone’s are different. Mine manifest themselves in feeling a tremendous wave of sadness and/or relief that washes over me, and it’s very difficult to keep from crying. But I don’t lash out or react violently or physically in any way, so they’re just annoying to me on a social basis. I feel generally more in control of my emotions lately, which I believe to be part of the process of “growing up” — something that occurs at a different rate for aspies and auties than it does for NTs (neurotypicals).
It’s been one week that I’ve been adhering closely to a fitness routine which I’ve been monitoring online. It’s going very well, and I am getting much more fit and much stronger. It can only benefit me, and enhance all the other healthy habits that I’ve started this year. I haven’t yet started any of the other nootropics that I would like to try because I want to try to isolate the effects.
Someone recently asked me what it meant to be autistic. I had never thought of it in the past two years since I’ve been diagnosed, even though I identify strongly with my autism. So I thought about it.
To me, being autistic means that I can see the interconnectedness of all living things on this planet. It means that I am not species-ist, and can see how every living thing on this planet has a life force that is precious. It means that I can see beauty everywhere and in everything, and hear the music of the universe like a loud gong in my mind. It means that I can see far back into the unwritten annals of human history, and far forward into our potential futures as humans on planet earth. It means that I can experience life on an entirely different level from most people, and that I can fashion my life itself as a work of art.
It means that I am the ultimate artist, and have discovered aspects of life that most can only dream of ever reaching.
I am love and the lover. I am the dance and the dancer. I am the dream and the dreamer. I am the thought and the thinker. I am eternal and eternity.
That’s what it means to me.
Many aspies and auties have a strong fascination for water. We can stare at it, play with it, play in it for hours. Like fire, running water can hyponotise us. Why do we like it so much?
Water is the life force. It holds the key to all knowledge and is a part of almost every living thing. It is all our around us, in our air and within us. We need it, and it needs us. I feel massively connected with it. It is an essential part of the universe, and as autistics, maybe we lack the Fear of feeling closely connected to the universe that many humans have. It can transmit signals across vast distances, and some of us can use it to communicate with the universe, if we try. Does that makes sense?